Sunday, July 22, 2012

Chitralekha


                                Chitralekha 
                                   Synopsis

Shwetank asks “and Sin!”
The Sage Ratnamber seemed to be awakened from a deep sleep. He observed shwetank keenly “sin? Very difficult question my child!, but then it’s obvious too  . You ask what is sin!”Ratnamber looked for a moment at the noisy Patliputra, whose skyscraping monuments were still visible in dim light of setting Sun, Yes,I too have tried to define sin many a times, but was always a failure. What is sin? And where it resides? Is a very difficult question, which I have not been able to solve till date. The problem which I could not solve ffter constant effort and even after stepping deep in ocean of experience, how can I make you understand that?
Ratnamber paused and then said “but Shwetank if you wish to understand Sin, then you will have to search it in the world” If you are ready for it, then it’s possible, you may know what Sin is?”
Shwetank bowed in front of Ratnamber and said “I present myself”
“And maybe you too would like to search the sin? “ Ratnamber looked at Vishaldev.
Vishaldev bowing his head in front of Ratnamber said “Sage your inference is right”
Ratnamber’s face shone with happiness” But before I leave you to hobble in the world it is necessary to make you aware of the situation. There are two gentlemen in this town, with whom I have proper acquaintance, and to fulfill this goal of yours you may need their help.” One is the yogi and the other is the bhogi, yogi’s name is Kumargiri and bhogi is Beejgupt. You both will have to flow together with their life sources.
Both the disciples answered in chorus “it is accepted”
“Vishaldev! You are a Brahmin and you have fascination for meditation and worship, therefore it would be better you become disciple of Kumargiri.  And Shwetank you are a warrior, you are fascinated by world, therefore you will have to serve Beejgupt.
Again both the disciples answered in chorus “it is accepted”.
“Your ways are decided” and now it’s me. You both don’t worry about me. You gain experience and I would meditate. You both meet me after one year at the same place. And then again we will walk on the decided journey of our’s.
“But remember one thing. I am sending you to know the things which cannot been known in scriptures but only by experience. But be attentive that you don’t get lost in this process of gaining experience. You would flow with the real waves of this world; see that you don’t get drowned.”
Both Shwetank and Vishaldev looked at each other.
Ratnamber paused for a moment and then started “let me introduce you to the situation in which you are going to live, Kumargiri is a yogi and he has litigated that he has overcome all the worldly desires. He is disillusioned from the world, and according to his sayings, he has know the pleasure too. He is powerful and majestic, he has physical and mental strength both”. As people say he has enchanted the affection. Kumargiri is a young man, intermix of youth and detachment has given him a vision. World is his means and heaven his goal. Vishaldev! The same Kumargiri would be your teacher now.
And Shwetank! Beejgupt is bhogi, his heart is filled with pleasures of youth and eyes are red with intoxication. Luxury dances in his tall towers, and all the pleasures of life lie in his bejeweled wine glass. He plays in the thrilling grandeur and jubilance of life. He has limitless wealth. He is handsome and in his heart lays all the desires of world. The drunken sway on his doorstep and court is all abuzz with erotic dances of dancers aroused by their beauty. He is an atheist and maybe he never thought even of God. He is not worried about heaven or hell. Revelry of life is his only concern. You would have to serve the same Beejgupt. Shwetank! Is it acceptable?”
Mahaprabhu your order is supreme .Shwetank wanted to see this unimaginable magnificence.
And Vishaldev is it acceptable to you?
Mahaprabhu your order is supreme” Vishaldev wanted to feel the strength of youth mixed with detachment for one time.
“Then lets abide by our goals” Ratnamber stands.
Next day the hut was abandoned. Mahaprabhu was in his arid zone of mediation and disciples traveled amidst the world.

Translated by 
Swati sinha

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

रुका तो है यह समय 
आज भी उसी वक्त की देहलीज़ पे 
जहाँ से पीछे  अँधेरा है 
और आगे जाने का साहस नहीं
कोड़ों से पड़ते हैं वक्त की आंधी 
और दिल मेरा दहलता भी नहीं 
किसी की मीठी बातें ज़हर लगती है 
और ज़हर लगता है संसार
क्यूँ कहते हों इसे तुम  प्यार  
अब तो बस हों रहा है व्यापार 
व्यापार भावनाओं का 
व्यापार वासनाओं का 
जखीरा है ये आशा और निराशा की 
खोखली होती प्रेम के परिभाषा की 
नहीं चाहिए मुझे पतवार 
आज अकेले ही पार जाउंगी 
लहरों का शोर होने दो 
साहिल आज खुद ही बन जाउंगी 

स्वाति सिन्हा 

Sunday, March 18, 2012

हवा पे एक निशां मेरा भी हो 
एक जहां मेरा भी हो 
उड़ने की हसरत है मुझको
एक आसमान मेरा हो 



स्वाति सिन्हा 

A Desert Flower


A Desert Flower




Walking  past the lanes of busy life , running through the crowd and trying to make a niche , sailing past the olden forgotten memories which slowly creeps in mind, fighting the tides of time which may stop my way , I met HER. She was everything and still a stranger in herself. She was somebody whose smile could make million lights glow at a second , she was somebody whose one glance made many hearts cross the sea for her. She was like a brilliant shining stone which should be mistaken for a diamond. She was something more beautiful , genuine, rarerest of rare universe could retrieve ever if lost. And it was one of those rare occasions when I met her. I am super excited to tell the tale of the girl whom I met all of a sudden but it will take ages for her memories to faint. Those few days with her was a life in complete.
                                                I was part of a developemental work of an NGO I worked and had to travel  through dreary desert of Rajasthan. I was to travel extreme border of Thar desert,and it included some pre-planned set up of a school in that area. I decided to start early,and  boarded my train from Delhi. Train was moving slowly towards its destination and as usual I took out my book and started reading. I heard somebody humming a song , finding it to be a sweet female voice I looked up. On the upper berth was a young lady and I found her listening some song on I-pod , which unaware of her surrounding she was singing bit loudly. Altough light in voice according to her , but it was audible to everyone sitting there. I emersed myself again in my book. It was afternoon and after lunch I felt drowsiness descending on me. Covered from toe to head I lost myself in arms of sweet slumber. In my dreams I heared the similar voice talking on phone. This time it didn’t sound sweet, she talked in low voice but her bitterness was very much clear. I opened my eyes and knew , it was not a dream. Maybe sensing the situation , she snapped her call. I think she was feeling awkward and to minimise it as much as I could , I went in sleep again pretending myself unaware of anything which happened . I could feel she was sobbing, but I had no reason or relation of consoling her. I woke up sometime in evening when our train stopped at a small station. I got down down from train and was looking at the window , with a subconscoius desire to know her , to know about her. Curiosity is a strong human tendency , when people want to find out more and more about their environment. All the discoveries and inventions find their roots in this small , seeminlgy insignificant tendency” to know more”.  Train was moving again towards its destination, and people were busy with two most popular things done in train, gossiping and sleeping. I looked at HER, she was busy on her I-pod. I could feel she was lost , not in the music but some thought of her.                                                                                               
                                I left all the hopes of breaking the ice,  I felt she was  an introvert person , or else how could any woman sit for so long withoug talking. But jokes apart , she was a woman I would have loved to know more about.  Don’t be mistaken by my words, I am noway a flirt, to sound less bad. She was again on a call , but this time she was stern in her voice and didn’t talk for long. I pushed her thoughts apart and again started reading. In an hour or so , train would be reaching Jaisalmer , where I plan to stay and travel to and fro to my destination.  I packed my bag and arranged my things , but once in a while my eyes escaped from the pages of my book and travelled to upper berth.  She was sleeping with her headphone plugged to her ears. Train stopped and there was usual sound of hustle and bustle , She hurridely got down and made her way out with her luggage. I don’t know why but I felt relaxed, maybe the hopes of meeting her again was alive.
                                I reached my hotel room and unpacked my things . I had a small backpack which would  accompany  me on these small trips to the village of this world famous desert.  For the next few days I was busy visiting the schools set up in the desert, few of them were really achieving their goals of free education and were really doing a noble work , but few others were dummy projects which had done nothing good for people around. But this is the fact of NGO. They often  lacked the conviction which was necessary for success of any project. I made a list of all the schools which should be recommended for furhter development. I retuened to jaisalmer and next day I had to travel back to Delhi  . Don’t think I have forgot her , every moment I thought of meeting her , once if not more . that day I had to meet some sponsers and donors from  Jaisalmer and areas surrounding. The meeting was scheduled and I was to present my report  in front of higher officials from rajasthan governement. when I reached there, I was not surprised to meet her. I  somewhere knew this meeting was destined.
                                She was Prabha Rajhans and  was one of the donors. She was intrested in development projects which government planned in the locality  and was equally intrested in sharing what she expected from the money which she spared for this cause of education. The meeting lasted for few hours and then all of us headed for the lunch . There  for the first time we had one to one interaction. I was lucky enough to be recognised by her.  She had offered to be part of the development work and she promised to be available whenever any work demanded her presence. This dry desert of Rajasthan was getting exciting  for me. I came to Delhi with pent up desire to travel back soon. With desire to meet her again.
                                She had done her MBA in finance  and was workig at bangalore before she shifted back to Jaisalmer where she stayed with her parents. And I was nobody to judge why she came back . I had no such intention to know the reason of her leaving the job.  Admist all these mixed thoughts I once again got the intimation to travel back . This time I was supposed to stay there for few months . I sent her an e-mail , informing her the dates when we would start the work and mentioned our NGO’s desire to work with her. 
                On the scheduled date I reached Jaisalmer again, this time the city appeared colourful and warm , not due to temperature but because of one face I knew, I expected to meet .  We were travelling towards a small village which was on the border of thar extreme west. Bus was on the bumnpy road , and I could sense her inconvinience. We talked of our hobbies , our passions , our likes and dislikes. We were bonding well and were on the way to become good friends . on site she was a dedicated worker, no frills of born rich , no apprehension in meeting those uneducated villagers,  no show off of that inherent intelligence. She was on her own and she was enjoying that fully. She herself assigned her the duty of bringing the children back to school, to reduce the dropputs, to motivate them towards education , to inspire them to succed, to see a dream from this dry waterless desert . I saw her working hours and hours undettered if anybody refused to talk , every failure motivated her to look beyond the horizon. She was travelling , talking , making a team , joining the people , she was creating a milestone for this desert. I found her to be a cheerful lady with good sense of humour. When I saw her smiling at kids , it was so enigmatic, when I heard her speak , I knew it had deep meaning , her enthusiasm was captivating . she was a lady of true words , ready to walk an extra mile, ready bring back the smile. I was soemtimes jealous the way she fough tback the odds of staying there in the village . She spoke but she spoke of work and work , no compalins of food , water or people , nothhing she spoke which expressed her unwillingness to work in that small village.
                                School was being constructed on full swing and student enrollement was also good. We expected to start the new classed from July. Prabha           was busy arranging the school bills when she received a phone. She went out of the office and I could see her talking , her changing expressions and tiny drops of tears ready to fall out. She didn’t come back for an hour . She was sitting outside on the stairs of newly built school building. I walked towards her, she asked me to sit. It was her brother on the phone . An elder brother who had left them few years back after marrying an australian girl. He was settled in Australia and had broken all the terms with family , just because Dad didn’t approve of this marriage. She talked her heart out, her family is very conservative and their only son taking this step made them victim of ill gossip . His father who is a well settled businessman of jaisalmer was quite distured with this , and suffered a maasiveheart attack. My brother didn’t come to meet them, he didn’t thought of seeking forgiveness. I came back from Banglore and sensing my father’s fear for me and also my concern for his health stopped me from going back. My brother calls me on and off and gives my serveral reasons of him not coming back and in that my efforts to bring back fizzles out with zero result. Prabha was sad , her father was losing his health , his business and he has lost his son to a distant land. As a daughter her all the efforts to bring back the life and happiness was turning to be futile. A mother whose eyes wanted to see her son, whose ears were eager to listen one word from her son , who had broken all the ties and gone back. Prabha said she came back to bring back the smiles of her parents but now the pain of incomplete family is more stining. Prabha got up and engaged herself in her work . I wanted to console her but didn’t know how?.
                                Prabha was talking to some local women to make some pitchers with a stand so that water could be kept cool in summers. She also shared the idea of putting khus curtains on the windows, which could be made with help of local resources and help. Her phone buzzed and this time it was from her home. Her father had suffered second heart attack and he was hospitalised. Prabha insisted on going alone but I could not imagine her going alone in this state of mind. On the way back she didn’t talk , she just prayed . We reached the hospital and they immediatley arranged for the surgery. Prabha ran from pillar to post to get the things done properly and on time. She didn’t trust anybody when it came to taking advice. She believed in her faith , her prayers and her God. Operation lasted for 6 hours and Prabha was restless within but nobody could sense that. She consoled her mother. She confidently talked to the doctor, she was ready for any situation to be tackled. What a lady ! Spirits as high as ……… , confidence rock solid and never depleting energy level. Doctors appeared , and they shared the good news of success in the enndevour. Next day his father opened his eyes and it was one more happy moment. Their son and prabha’s brother Sujeet was back.  It was a happy reunion.
                I saw Prabha as she looked at her parents and his brother. All the pain found their way in tiny droplets of tears. No forgiveness was seeked , no forgivenss was granted . Love superceded all the agony of seperation and union. I looked at Prabha as she wiped her tears and entered in the room.  I bid goodbye to the family and adviced Prabha to be with her family for few days, as the work is almost complete . I invited the family for the inaugration of school , which was scheduled after  one month. I returned to the village, and preapred with full zeal for the inaugration. Prabha came with her family , Her father was very much happy to see the hard work of her daughter. Prabha disclosed all the disagreements have ceased and sujit would keep coming to india every year and her parents  have also agreed to visit them . Prabha closed her eyes and thanked god for being kind to her.  
                                I always wanted to know this lady , and I was happy to know her. I now knew a girl who was quick in picking up an embriodary design as easily as she settled matters of finances with accuracy. She was one who giggled with pure innocence when she won a match of cricket with village kids. she was one who would lend her shoulder to every woman with a pain and would never seek any appraisal for it. she was a complete woman , rarerest of her breed. As I returned from the village , I saw a flower blooming in the desert.  firey red and with spirits to fight the odds of scorching sun and waterless desert. She was Prabha for me. I was happy to witness the dry weather of thar giving life to a wilting flower. Prabha was made responsible for work of our NGO in jaisalmer and surrounding.  I was happy for myself . 
बिखर कर खुद को पाया हमने
आइना था तू .... सिर्फ अक्स क्यूँ रहती मैं



swati sinha